Wish a Wish

I don't know what 18 means to me. it's full of happiness in the beginning and full of sadness in the ending. My life turns blue. Everytime I see the sky, it's all grey, and when I see the others laughing, I see it blurry even I wear my minus three cylinder one glasses.

Tonight, I spend this birthday's eve alone in my darkly room. Thinking of all my sins, all my faults, and how loser I am. I don't think it's good for me to stay alive, but I hold on with this fragile heart. I have to thank my stubbornness to make me still standing till' today (I owe you one), also thank God for giving me my stubbornness. It's my only strength for sure...

I also thank God for giving me this incredible family. They're the one who believe in me. they're the one whom I'm comfort with. They're also the one who really know who I am.

Mama, Papa, Tio, Hans, kakak loves you so much... I'll try my best to do the best I could to make you all happy. As the oldest children, I know that's my responsibility.

God, I also thank You for giving me the one who can accept me whoever I am. He never regrets himself to be my boy. The most important is that he understands me although I'm a pathetic loser.

so for you, Hadi, thank you for always standing next to me, supporting me, keeping my faith on, believing me. Sorry I always blame you for small stuffs. Sorry if you're disappointed with me. Sorry for everything I've done to you. and another million "sorry"s for you. I owe you a lot, dear.... I love you, because of Allah... :)

For my friends in Kelas A Sastra Inggris UNPAD 2009... thank you for being such nicer friends I ever had. Thank You so much for everything you've done to me especially when I got sick in Campus... I owe you a lot.. :) you're all very kind to me although you know I'm not too socialized or "ANSOS" *lol, and always tells unfunny jokes alias "ngejayus" hhee... :) million thanks and sorry for you all... :)

 

As usual, I don't expect any surprise party, birthday cake, either presents. I just want to make it ordinary. yeah, ordinary as I wake up in the morning till' I go to bed. Nothing happen.

But one thing...

God, I beg you to let me know who really am in this 19...